If you have ever heard the term "back seat driver" , then you might understand what I mean. I want to make clear what I mean by the term "backseat breastfeeding". I know that a lot of woman are knowledgeable with breast feeding. I also know that this is a new territory for me. But along with it being a new territory and my first experience, it is exactly that, my experience. What works for some woman may not work for me and what works for me may not work for some woman, but there is nothing wrong with that. This is a topic that I have been wanting to talk about for a while , but I was always talking myself out of it because I was too scared of what others might think and didn't want to come across as being too honest. I have come to the point to where I will no longer sit in the driver's seat silently. I have decided to share my thoughts and feelings on the subject matter, from a sincere and genuine place, once and for all.
When I first decided that I wanted to breast feed little Eden I had no idea that I would still be doing this 16 months into her existence. The beginning of this journey was no piece of cake. I couldn't get her to latch on for anything, so I had to start pumping. This worked out fine at first, but as grew older so did her need for the milkies (breast milk ). Pumping was starting to become a struggle, but previous to this I had no luck in the nursing department either. During one of Eden's pediatric appointments, her doctor had advised me to try to spontaneously start nursing her again to see if it would work. When we got home I tried, and it worked. As I sat there breast feeding my beautiful girl, I realized how much I missed it, and how much I missed that connection with her. It was an unexplainable moment that drew us closer together, as if we were one. In addition to the bond we developed, I no longer had to pry myself out of bed to warm up bottles and Eden could get all the milk her tummy desired. It was a match made in sleep heaven.
Throughout this journey I was offered many words of encouragement, advice and discouragement. Although all three types of words were given and received, they were not always wanted or appreciated. I remember Eden being two to three months old and having someone tell me that I was starving my child because I refused to give her breast milk with baby cereal in a bottle. This devastated and confused me. It was devastating because I could not understand how a woman and a mother could talk to me that way and it was confusing because according to my eyes and Eden's pediatrician she was a healthily growing baby. I love words of encouragement and I even welcome advice, but when these words starts turn into passive demands it becomes an invasion of my parental choices and my experience starts to become our experience.
As time went on I became more comfortable with breastfeeding in public, Eden started eating solids and nursing less, and she started drinking out of a Sippy cup. Fast forward to Eden's first birthday. As most parents know babies are allowed to have regular whole milk once they have turned one. The plan was to introduce Eden to whole milk and slowly wean her from breast milk. What was not part of the plan was for her to constantly reject the regular milk and only want to nurse. At this point she had been drinking out of a Sippy cup and only nursing after meal times and to go to sleep. She was also nursing a few times through out the night. I knew that I had to hurry and stop breastfeeding her and fast, but what I didn't realize was that I felt this way because of the pressures of the people around me. I took a step back and asked myself "why am I in such in rush?" While relatives and friends are only offering their friendly opinions and advice, they fail to realize the unwanted stress and pressure it puts on me to stop breast feeding. I know that the intensions are good, but sometimes I feel misunderstood. God created my body to be able to birth life and nourish that life, so why should I feel as if I am doing something wrong or foreign. I feel that way because unfortunately it is foreign.
In our society once a toddler turns one, it is automatically assumed by many that the breast feeding experience will soon come to its end because they can drink regular milk, but whose to say that just because they can they should. I have nothing against regular milk and Eden does drink it, especially when she eats cereal, but when she's tired or wants comfort, she wants cuddles and milkies (breast milk), not a cold glass of milk. When told that I need to start weaning it makes me feel as if people are saying what I can provide naturally for my daughter is not good enough. It also makes me feel as if they do not understand the many health benefits that breastfeeding provides for a child, even after she has turned one. Extended breast feeding helps soothe with teething and ouches, it bolsters Eden's immune system, and it helps to lower the risks of many diseases, including diabetes and breast cancer. Those are just some of the many benefits it has provided and is still providing for my child and myself.
Today I am an extended breastfeeding mama and I am completely happy with that . Continuing to breast feed Eden is something I have chosen to do because she still needs me to and I enjoy it. I do not know how much longer I will breastfeed for, but I do know that it will be my choice. I know that many will not agree with my choice and some might not even support, but I hope that after reading this they can truly understand my heart. When she is ready, I will be too and it will be the end to a beautiful journey. Until that time comes please let me do all the driving.
Stay Simple, Sweet, and Beautiful,
Dadi
When I first decided that I wanted to breast feed little Eden I had no idea that I would still be doing this 16 months into her existence. The beginning of this journey was no piece of cake. I couldn't get her to latch on for anything, so I had to start pumping. This worked out fine at first, but as grew older so did her need for the milkies (breast milk ). Pumping was starting to become a struggle, but previous to this I had no luck in the nursing department either. During one of Eden's pediatric appointments, her doctor had advised me to try to spontaneously start nursing her again to see if it would work. When we got home I tried, and it worked. As I sat there breast feeding my beautiful girl, I realized how much I missed it, and how much I missed that connection with her. It was an unexplainable moment that drew us closer together, as if we were one. In addition to the bond we developed, I no longer had to pry myself out of bed to warm up bottles and Eden could get all the milk her tummy desired. It was a match made in sleep heaven.
Throughout this journey I was offered many words of encouragement, advice and discouragement. Although all three types of words were given and received, they were not always wanted or appreciated. I remember Eden being two to three months old and having someone tell me that I was starving my child because I refused to give her breast milk with baby cereal in a bottle. This devastated and confused me. It was devastating because I could not understand how a woman and a mother could talk to me that way and it was confusing because according to my eyes and Eden's pediatrician she was a healthily growing baby. I love words of encouragement and I even welcome advice, but when these words starts turn into passive demands it becomes an invasion of my parental choices and my experience starts to become our experience.
As time went on I became more comfortable with breastfeeding in public, Eden started eating solids and nursing less, and she started drinking out of a Sippy cup. Fast forward to Eden's first birthday. As most parents know babies are allowed to have regular whole milk once they have turned one. The plan was to introduce Eden to whole milk and slowly wean her from breast milk. What was not part of the plan was for her to constantly reject the regular milk and only want to nurse. At this point she had been drinking out of a Sippy cup and only nursing after meal times and to go to sleep. She was also nursing a few times through out the night. I knew that I had to hurry and stop breastfeeding her and fast, but what I didn't realize was that I felt this way because of the pressures of the people around me. I took a step back and asked myself "why am I in such in rush?" While relatives and friends are only offering their friendly opinions and advice, they fail to realize the unwanted stress and pressure it puts on me to stop breast feeding. I know that the intensions are good, but sometimes I feel misunderstood. God created my body to be able to birth life and nourish that life, so why should I feel as if I am doing something wrong or foreign. I feel that way because unfortunately it is foreign.
In our society once a toddler turns one, it is automatically assumed by many that the breast feeding experience will soon come to its end because they can drink regular milk, but whose to say that just because they can they should. I have nothing against regular milk and Eden does drink it, especially when she eats cereal, but when she's tired or wants comfort, she wants cuddles and milkies (breast milk), not a cold glass of milk. When told that I need to start weaning it makes me feel as if people are saying what I can provide naturally for my daughter is not good enough. It also makes me feel as if they do not understand the many health benefits that breastfeeding provides for a child, even after she has turned one. Extended breast feeding helps soothe with teething and ouches, it bolsters Eden's immune system, and it helps to lower the risks of many diseases, including diabetes and breast cancer. Those are just some of the many benefits it has provided and is still providing for my child and myself.
Today I am an extended breastfeeding mama and I am completely happy with that . Continuing to breast feed Eden is something I have chosen to do because she still needs me to and I enjoy it. I do not know how much longer I will breastfeed for, but I do know that it will be my choice. I know that many will not agree with my choice and some might not even support, but I hope that after reading this they can truly understand my heart. When she is ready, I will be too and it will be the end to a beautiful journey. Until that time comes please let me do all the driving.
Stay Simple, Sweet, and Beautiful,
Dadi